I'd reached 34,000 words before it clicked in my brain that NaNoWriMo wasn't for me, and why. Now, I'll not dispute that that 34,000 words is likely more than I would have written had I not participated, but, for me, it's going to lead to a lot more work than I'm accustomed to.
As you all probably know, there are many different types of writers. Some plot out their whole novel in detail before they begin writing, while others like to start writing with nothing planned out beforehand. And, of course, there are a variety of writers in-between (which is where I fit in). There are likewise writers that make multiple drafts of their work before the final product is achieved, while others (like me) edit while they write, so that the first draft is the only draft.
Therein lay my problem. Being on a one month time crunch for 50,000 words, and being unable to re-read and edit what I'd written while I was writing it was causing me a remarkable amount of anxiety. It was beginning to impact my sleep and my ability to write anything new, as I had this continuous "frazzled and panicked" feeling when I went to put my hands to my keyboard. It took some reflection, but it quickly became apparent that this was not the competition for me.
Ultimately, I put my manuscript aside, and I turned my focus to the holidays and spending time with my kids and my family, knowing that once I do return to Fear and Fortitude, I will have to do a great deal of editing before I can resume writing. Now that we're nearing the end of the year, I'm feeling ready to tackle this project once more. In fact, I'm excited to get started, because this plot is something new and fun for me.
So this, my friends, is why I failed NaNoWriMo, and why I'll likely fail again. But that's ok. I accept my failure as a lesson, and honestly, I did get several genuinely good chapters out of it. Overall, I'm happy. Now, to get to re-reading my WIP and making some necessary changes.
I hope that you all had a lovely holiday season, and that you have a great New Year's Eve tomorrow!
Award winning historical romance author, Acquisitions Manager for Pandamoon Publishing, wife, and stay-at-home mom of four. Chocoholic, nerd, & bath bomb enthusiast.