School: I'm Ready, But I'm Not Ready

It's nearly my kids' bedtime on September 3rd, and tomorrow is Part 1 of the "first day" of the big year. That doesn't really make sense, I know, but in my children's school, the kids in grades 1 through 7 start school on Tuesday after Labour Day long weekend, and the little Kindergarteners start on the Wednesday. 

Well, this year is our big year. My oldest is starting his first year in the Intermediate grades (Gr. 4-7), my middle son is going into Grade 3, and my twins are headed into Kindergarten. That's right, I'm going from having two children (minimum) at home all the time to having none during school hours. 

We've done the back-to-school shopping, their school supplies have been pre-ordered online since June last year, and we've done our big before-school grocery shopping trip. So, we're ready. Yes, we're ready. I'm going to have time to dedicate to work, I'll get writing done, make bath products, work on Acquisitions, and all while my kids get a great education and make friends. Ready... Ready.

Ok, you guessed it. I'm not ready. After our third pregnancy, I knew I wouldn't have any more children. We were just incredibly fortunate enough to have twins. Four babies, three pregnancies! And now, my babies are going to Kindergarten. I'm happy, truly, and I won't be a hovering parent that lingers at the window and watches them while they're trying to socialize and learn, but with every step that I take on the way home, my heart will be breaking just a little bit more.

I've been encouraging the kids, telling them how amazing it will be, but inside, I've been wanting to squeeze them extra tight. My babies are growing up. Someday, I'll blink, and they'll all be teenagers, and then they'll all be adults... But, right now, it's Kindergarten. And I'm not ready.